World's Worst Literature

As students, it is a necessity to learn literature. Stuff like Shakespeare. Literature is the art of written works. If your wondering how I knew that is because I'm checking it out at Wikipedia. Speaking of Wikipedia, we'll talk about that some other time.

But anyway, literature is important because...because...these books are timeless and very impressive written works. I mean, how many people could write about two lovers in Italy who fall in love with each other and in the end to be together hatch up a plot to be together which goes tragically wrong and they both end up dead. Or that story about a girl and her brother in Alabama who learn about racism but for some reason the title of the book is "To Kill A Mockingbird". Or that story about that Scottish noble who murdered his own king for his throne just because three old ladies told him he would be king.

Alright, the stories sound dumb when i say it like that, but anyway the point is that there are good stories and bad stories. So here is a good example of a book with a compilation of stupid, weird, crazy, and...stupid stories. A Malay literature book called "Sehijau Warna Daun"

Sehijau Warna Daun means A Green Coloured Leaf. Yeah, it's one of the stories in the book though I can't remember it right now, but trust me, it was dumb. To be honest, I can't remember any of the stories I learned in Malaysia because it was so stupid. It's always these stories where someone can't afford to go to a school or something and than some person helps out or something happens and that kind of crap. I do however, manage to scrap my mind for one story. The best part is that I think this was actually the best story. Although that was because it was a comedy story.

Alright the story is called Lebai Malang. Anyway, the story starts off as Pak Lebai whom is a Quran teacher and he is sitting by his house. Not long later a messenger comes telling Pak Lebai that he is invited to a funeral. And than another messenger comes telling Pak Lebai he is invited to his student's graduation party. And one more messenger comes telling Pak Lebai he's invited to another party. After that, Pak Lebai realize that he can only go to one of those choices. So Pak Lebai did the smartest thing anyone of us would do and sat pondering on which choices would benefit him the best. From dawn to dusk he pondered and finally decided to go to the funeral. He reached the funeral but someone told him that they already buried the man, so next choice student's graduation party. Unfortunately, there was no more food and so he went to the last choice. Of course, as you could guess there was no more food as well. The host felt sorry for Pak Lebai and gave him a piece of "kuih" which is basically a dessert. Anyway, it was late and he was walking home when he saw a Melaka Tree and it was growing some Melaka sugar. So he left his dessert on the ground and climb the tree to collect the Melaka sugar. Unfortunately, a dog came and took his dessert. PakLebai was so angry he threw all the Melaka sugar he collect at the dog but it all missed. Pak Lebai got down from the tree and chase the dog until the dog went into a log. So a log has two holes and Pak Lebai was running about the log to make sure the dog doesn't get out at anyone. But, Pak Lebai had a "great" idea. He took ALL his clothes and put it at one hole to make sure the dog thinks he's there while he goes to the other hole but to his demise the dog was not in the log anymore. So Pak Lebai went to retrieve his clothes but it was stolen. Pak Lebai was so angry he lifted his arms in rage. Meanwhile two birds thought Pak Lebai's armpit hair was a bird nest and each bird went into each armpit. So Pak Lebai wanted to catch the birds, unfortunately he was too dumb and the birds got away. At last he went home naked and got beaten by his wife for being naked.

Yeah, best story ever huh? That's part of what we learned. It was entertaining compared to the other crap. Don't ask me who wrote this crap, because I don't think I would want to know. Ok I actually do.

Anti-bullying Day

Well, I haven't been updating this blog for a while. But I've decided I'll read "The Dragon Reborn" later and write a blog tomorrow. So for now, I'll do a short entry.
So being short, I'll entertain you with horrible videos I found. Check it out, especially if you know stuff like Street Fighters and that kindda crap. Enjoy, I did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9W8_o1Vk8A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGEJDKJdPGg&feature=channel

Hahaaha yeah, funny shit. You can check out more yourself at your own time. It is on youtube anyway. I'm sure someone like you who would take the time to read this blog would go to youtube as well anyway.
Well, yesterday was Anti-Bullying Day and apparently everyone wears pink so that it symbolizes that your against bullying or some shit like that. Almost no one did anyway, I tell you if there were such a thing as that in Malaysia, we'd be bullied by the school to wear it anyway. Kind of defeats the purpose huh?

Alright, I don't know if this is correct, but I heard that anti-bullying day started when this loser/nerd/geek/doofus/whatever was being bullied or some shit like that cause he was wearing pink. Anyway, the principal apparently thought "Hey, I will go buy some pink stuff and distribute them to other kids so that we can socially and visually outcast them." And apparently the bullies were like "Oh man, everyones a loser coz he or she is wearing pink, but there so many of them! I surrender and relinquish my bullying skills."

Ok, maybe it may not have went that way but you can probably guess what the "real" reason but you get the idea. So this happened in Canada, yeah, Canada's real proud that we have anti-bullying day. Let the whole world know that Canada has so many bullies that we need an anti-bullying day. Anyway, its also a good chance for the school to sell pink stuff and make a profit out of your hard earned cash or allowance. You obviously can do something better with that money like buying a pencil or something.

Next blog, I'll rant about Michael Moore since I'm learning about him and his documentaries in English class and a literature book if you can call it that known as "Sehijau Warna Daun". Yeah some of you are goona know what to expect.

Idol Drama in America

So I'm pretty sure all of us watch American Idol, whether its the auditions or the final showdown. Anyway, American Idol has always been popular ever since Kelly Clarkson's big big breakthrough. So yeah to be honest, I never really watch or keep up with American Idol. I pretty much just wait for Yahoo! or something to give the result of who won. I do however, watch the auditions in the beginning. To be honest, I think that's the best part. They should really do a show about these rejects instead. To me, the "journey" of the American Idol is kindda well...boring. It's sorta like reading the same book again and again. Just maybe a different protagonist each time you read it. But everything else is the same. But the rejects, their the real drama. I always like how they think they can sing. Why don't we check out a few huh? So yeah, where else better to check out videos than YouTube.

Alright, I'm not gonna be picky and I chose this guy's video so yeah check it out.



Alright, so yeah I hope that was entertaining. Anyway, do you see what I mean? Wow, the last guy from that video really didn't seem like singing at all. I mean can he hear himself? Yeah after watching this video I feel my ears are trying to tell me that if I ever watch another video like that on YouTube again, they'll go deaf on purpose. I cannot go deaf now, not when I have an iPod Touch. Its like having a PSP and not having any hands.
Alright, back on topic I like the way people always seem to accuse Simon for everything. Seriously, Simon is the main judge of American Idol. Randy Jackson just does his America's Best Dance Crew. But I gotta admit, at least he gives some criticism. And Paula, well she looks drunk most of the time anyway. The new judge, I guess shes ok I think she should just stop playing with Paula infront of everyone, it might piss off people thinking shes not a serious judge. Anyway, another funny thing about American Idol is that the rejects sometimes say that their friends said their good singers. So I have a few theories.

1. Their friends are deaf.
2. Their friends are being way too polite.
3. Their friends decided to say that for a prank and make them think their good singers.

You get the idea right? Anyway, I find the group auditions more full of drama. Whoever keeps up with American Idol should know this year had all these incredibly melodramatic people. I like how the cruel minds of American Idol decide to pressure everyone by making them join groups with total strangers who now have your dreams in their hands. Yeah...

Alright last words, er... in school today. My friend Derek Liu played his PSP infront of me in Math Class and he was playing Dissidia: Final Fantasy. And like all geeks on the computer, I will not express my feelings via acronyms. OMFGDIUHBFIUWFB! Alright, the only normal part was the OMFG part. WOW!! Talk about epic world collision battles. Square Enix has really made another fantastic game. And that CG...that makes Wall-E look like well... may I say crap which Wall-E collects anyway. Anyway here here, video.

Welcome Piggies to

Alright, I know what your all thinking. Wow, you started a new blog. Well yes, I did. For one, I heeded Obama's advice for change. I also thought my old blog was getting a little messed up and yeah. The loading time was also a bitch. And for some damn reason, sometimes when you try to get into those Windows Live Spaces it usually shows something like "We can't get into this space now". Plus, many of you use another web browser like Firefox, Safari, Opera, Google Chrome, Netscape etc. But to easily access my space, you have to use the all time craptastic piece of Microsoft's bullshit Windows Service which is as efficient as well...nothing really. I mean, just look at the Microsoft's Xbox. And those are just some of the many reasons why I decided to change.

Now I know what your thinking. Some of you other readers are thinking "But....but...I like just like to push that button and go into your space." Yes yes my loyal fans and other people who try to read my space just to see what kind of guy I am and hoping I write something down that you could use to embarass me but unfortunately find out that I only complain about stuff, you have 2 options. First would be getting a new browser because trust me, if you think IE is a great browser than you haven't seen a real web browser. Secondly, my Windows Space has a URL longer than the Earth's equator. So why not just type imafatpiggy.blogspot.com and join the excitement of convinient blog reading. Well, for now this is just the first entry and I guess you have seen I just complained about Windows, so why not rip on them even more just for the heck of it. To celebrate CHANGE.

Windows, Bill Gates magic ticket out of poverty and Harvard. For some of you little kids who don't really know who Bill Gates is except one of the richest son of a bitches in this world, than allow me. Bill Gates was a somewhat bright kid and during his Harvard years, he decided to make a better Operating System which is what makes your computer run. During this time, the OS used by computer was DOS (Disk Operating System), I know its nerdy so I'll get straight to the point. Bill Gates manage to pull it off and made the crappy system known today as Windows. Thats right kids, he didn't get rich by being smart, but by pure fat buttery (mmm...hmm.. waffles) luck.

Ok, but Bill Gates didn't stop there no. He decided to get richer by making everything. He made crappy Computer Mouse's or Mice...whatever. Than there was the Xbox. And than there was Internet Explorer. ( I actually liked IE 6 but IE 7 sucked). The only good thing about Windows I can think of now is Microsoft Office. And that's because I use Microsoft Word a lot. Alright, to be fair most of these products are not too bad but you know its Microsoft and its not too great. Yeah, Bill Gates is lucky that iPod's didn't get there first.

Alright, and that's the first entry. Next time, its all about being American. Actually its just American Idol. Yeah, gotta love the drama and that bikini girl. Aw...come on, you guys out there know it, I know it, you know it and girls, if any of you actually take that much time to read this blog. Than its time you see my true side, The Dark Side. Join me, because your allowed to wear black on the dark side, and there's casual Fridays. You don't get paid but you get to sin. Yeah, relief yourself of that pressure and your bound to do something bad so start now.