World's Worst Literature

As students, it is a necessity to learn literature. Stuff like Shakespeare. Literature is the art of written works. If your wondering how I knew that is because I'm checking it out at Wikipedia. Speaking of Wikipedia, we'll talk about that some other time.

But anyway, literature is important because...because...these books are timeless and very impressive written works. I mean, how many people could write about two lovers in Italy who fall in love with each other and in the end to be together hatch up a plot to be together which goes tragically wrong and they both end up dead. Or that story about a girl and her brother in Alabama who learn about racism but for some reason the title of the book is "To Kill A Mockingbird". Or that story about that Scottish noble who murdered his own king for his throne just because three old ladies told him he would be king.

Alright, the stories sound dumb when i say it like that, but anyway the point is that there are good stories and bad stories. So here is a good example of a book with a compilation of stupid, weird, crazy, and...stupid stories. A Malay literature book called "Sehijau Warna Daun"

Sehijau Warna Daun means A Green Coloured Leaf. Yeah, it's one of the stories in the book though I can't remember it right now, but trust me, it was dumb. To be honest, I can't remember any of the stories I learned in Malaysia because it was so stupid. It's always these stories where someone can't afford to go to a school or something and than some person helps out or something happens and that kind of crap. I do however, manage to scrap my mind for one story. The best part is that I think this was actually the best story. Although that was because it was a comedy story.

Alright the story is called Lebai Malang. Anyway, the story starts off as Pak Lebai whom is a Quran teacher and he is sitting by his house. Not long later a messenger comes telling Pak Lebai that he is invited to a funeral. And than another messenger comes telling Pak Lebai he is invited to his student's graduation party. And one more messenger comes telling Pak Lebai he's invited to another party. After that, Pak Lebai realize that he can only go to one of those choices. So Pak Lebai did the smartest thing anyone of us would do and sat pondering on which choices would benefit him the best. From dawn to dusk he pondered and finally decided to go to the funeral. He reached the funeral but someone told him that they already buried the man, so next choice student's graduation party. Unfortunately, there was no more food and so he went to the last choice. Of course, as you could guess there was no more food as well. The host felt sorry for Pak Lebai and gave him a piece of "kuih" which is basically a dessert. Anyway, it was late and he was walking home when he saw a Melaka Tree and it was growing some Melaka sugar. So he left his dessert on the ground and climb the tree to collect the Melaka sugar. Unfortunately, a dog came and took his dessert. PakLebai was so angry he threw all the Melaka sugar he collect at the dog but it all missed. Pak Lebai got down from the tree and chase the dog until the dog went into a log. So a log has two holes and Pak Lebai was running about the log to make sure the dog doesn't get out at anyone. But, Pak Lebai had a "great" idea. He took ALL his clothes and put it at one hole to make sure the dog thinks he's there while he goes to the other hole but to his demise the dog was not in the log anymore. So Pak Lebai went to retrieve his clothes but it was stolen. Pak Lebai was so angry he lifted his arms in rage. Meanwhile two birds thought Pak Lebai's armpit hair was a bird nest and each bird went into each armpit. So Pak Lebai wanted to catch the birds, unfortunately he was too dumb and the birds got away. At last he went home naked and got beaten by his wife for being naked.

Yeah, best story ever huh? That's part of what we learned. It was entertaining compared to the other crap. Don't ask me who wrote this crap, because I don't think I would want to know. Ok I actually do.